My whole ‘not’ counting thing didn’t last long.
I NEED to count my calories in order to lose weight. There is no pussy footing around counting. I don’t know why I try and TRICK myself into thinking I can do this without counting and only with exercising. After all isn’t losing weight something like 80% of it – exercise actually only plays a very small part in it. Funny how your brain will make you believe whatever you want.
So I am back to logging in my food into my sparkpeople *sigh* – yes it takes time, yes it is a pain in the ass – but all hard work pays off in the end… right? I hope so.
I swear this is it. Can you believe it has been two years since I started this lifestyle change. TWO YEARS! Sure I lose 50 pounds… in the first 10 months! I spent the last 14 months goofing off going up and down up and down and then UP. I am 20 pounds up from the lightest (last year) – 15 up from a few months ago.
Crap happens, I know. Losing weight is hard – I know this for sure. But why do I keep sabotaging myself? I know what I need to do so why do I keep messing myself up?
I would rather be skinny that eat that donut or hamburger, but in the spur of the moment the donut seems like the better choice. WHY? A life style change does not mean you can not enjoy the things you love it just means you need to enjoy them in moderation – that is fine, I know this.. so why I do I keep screwing myself over.
Argh. Enough is enough, this is it. I am done. I am going to reach my goal. The scale WILL NOT, I repeat WILL NOW – I repeat again WILL NOT go back up this time. It is going down and staying down. You hear that scale? I MEAN IT!